I am Criswell. For years, I have told the almost unbelievable, related the unreal and showed it to be more than a fact. Now I tell a tale of the threshold people, so astounding that some of you may faint. This is a story of those in the twilight time. Once human, now monsters, in a void between the living and the dead. Monsters to be pitied, monsters to be despised. A night with the ghouls, the ghouls reborn from the innermost depths of the world.
Very rarely does a film come along that chills you to the bone. A film that actually makes you sleep with the lights on. A film that makes you shit and piss in your pants. This is not that film. In fact, you may be contemplating suicide after 30 minutes into the film to make it stop.
Orgy of the Dead is an unrated 1965 film directed by Stephen C. Apostolof under the alias A. C. Stephen. The screenplay was adapted by cult film director Edward D. Wood, Jr from his own novel. (Novel???? How in the blue hell was this story a novel? I must find that novel....it has to be about 4 pages long.)
The film begins with a young couple, Bob (William Bates) and Shirley (Pat Barringer), driving to a cemetery so Bob can get some ideas for a horror story. He is tired of writing dog stories. Bob makes the unfortunate mistake of trying to turn the car around too fast and they crash. The couple awake and head to the cemetery after hearing weird music playing there. But it's a death party as Emperor Ghoul (Criswell) and the Black Ghoul (Fawn Silver) are watching over a dance-off for your soul exhibition. That's all folks.....we are then treated to 10 fucking topless women dancing to shitty music over the next 80 minutes. Don't believe me? Here is a list of them all....don't expect Solid Gold or Soul Train dancers here. Gold Girl Dance, Hawaiian Dance, Skeleton Dance, Indian Dance, Slave Dance, Street Walker Dance, Cat Dance, Fluff Dance, Mexican Dance, Zombie Dance.
Just when you're about to cut your wrist, Wolfman and Mummy show up.
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| Wolfman and Mummy enjoy good exotic dancing. |
Mummy: I don't like snakes. I remember the one Cleopatra used. Cute little rascal until it flicked out that red tongue, and those two sharp fangs. You'd never think such a little thing packed such a big wallop. We had lots of snakes in my ancient Egypt...slimy slinky things.
After 10 horrible nude dances, the sun comes up and all the ghouls disappear. The End. Words cannot express how bad this film is. I enjoy bad movies for amusement but this is going to far. I would much rather spend my afternoon getting a root canal than having to suffer the torment of the damned watching this movie again.
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| You will be tortured....watch these dancers. |
The film based on the novel by Edward D. Wood Jr. has no werewolf character, like in the film. Wood received $600 for the novel.
Most prints of the film have someone's fingerprint on the negative during the opening credits. It's visible for only a frame, so, when the credits play, it is only seen long enough to register that something went by, but not what. Frame by frame slow down and then still reveals it's, most likely, a print from a thumb.
The cape worn by Criswell as The Emperor is the same cape worn by Bela Lugosi as Count Dracula in Bud Abbott Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein.
This film is listed among The 100 Most Amusingly Bad Movies Ever Made in Golden Raspberry Award founder John Wilson's book THE OFFICIAL RAZZIE® MOVIE GUIDE.
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| Torture, torture! It pleasures me! More Gold....A pussycat is born to be whipped. |
