Blackenstein (1973)

Eddie is a Vietnam veteran who loses his arms and legs when he steps on a land mine, but a brilliant surgeon is able to attach new limbs. Unfortunately an insanely jealous assistant (who has fallen in love with Eddie's fiance) switches Eddie's DNA injections, transforming him into a gigantic killer.

It's Blackenstein and to stop this mutha takes one bad brutha.  He's no jive turkey.  This film was created after the success of Blacula.  The film is awful.  Not even Dr. Frankenstein himself could bring this dud of a film to life. The only film worse in human history is "Orgy Of The Dead".  

The film was directed by William A. Levey and he throws every mad scientist/Frankenstein cliche that he can possibly think of.  The film takes place in Los Angeles.  I've been there many times and never witnessed a thunder storm....but somehow they have huge thunderstorms nightly in this film.  There are bubbling cauldrons in the lab, electric flashes everywhere.  But right smack dab in the middle of the film we have a comedian telling some corny ass jokes about a talking dog.  We get terrifying spooky music as characters walk leisurely from place to place with no action happening at all.  Somehow Blackenstein can escape the house at night, kill some folks and get back by morning without anyone noticing...not even Dr. Stein.  (Yes that is really the good doctor's name)

What you talking bout Blackenstein?

 But as bad as all of the above is, the worst is the acting.  I defy you to find a film with worse acting. I don't think any of these actors ever worked again. Joe De Sue delivers some of the most emotionless lines I've ever heard before he turns into a bloated Gary Coleman looking monster.  What you talking bout Blackenstein?  I'm talking about the sets being cheap, the lighting terrible and a five minute long shot of Blackenstein leaving the castle with his arms outstretched.

You can't shoot Blackenstein son.....

For some reason Blackenstein takes out his victims intestines and eats them.  Dr. Stein must not be feeding him properly. Some films fall into the "so bad it's good" category.  This one is borderline.  You might have to smoke a couple joints and pop some pills to make it through this one with good spirits.  The ending really does go to the dogs.  If you must see it for yourself, check out Netflix.  It's there.


Trivia:
The set used for Dr. Stein's lab uses items from Universal's original Frankenstein

Eddie's arms and legs were blown off by a land mine. When he is unloaded from the ambulance at Dr. Stein's home, his legs and feet are clearly visible underneath the sheet.

NOOOOOOOO...I don't want to be in this movie.