Intermedio (2005)

A group of four teenage friends become trapped in a Mexican border tunnel where they fall prey, one-by one, to tortured ghosts who haunt it.

This Thanksgiving holiday has not been good for my movie watching.  Here's another shitty fucking film I wasted 90 minutes of my life on.  This is a cheap movie with cheap "effects" that are eye-rolling at best.  The "ghosts" are guys dressed in skeleton costumes like in the fucking "Karate Kid".  The only entertaining part of this film is watching Cernia Vincent running around in a cut-off t-shirt sans bra and with thong-cut jeans.  She is quite fetching.

We're here and we're ready to act.

 The whole movie has the kids running around in tunnels...running in abandoned buildings...running up and down ladders.  And they hug a lot. The one moment that had me do a double take???  A ghost throws a pickaxe at Cerina and she suddenly demonstrates a Matrix-like move, doubling her body backward to avoid the weapon, then leaps about like a kung fu expert to fight off the villain. What in the blue hell?

This is a standard teens-against-monsters horror quickie, and you know what that means. There is not one iota of originality in this movie; you've seen every one of these recycled plot devices a hundred times before.  Avoid unless you've been drinking heavily.

In the caves of Mexico...There is something worse than death. It's this film.

Trivia:

The cast on Amber Benson's foot is real. Shortly before filming, a landscaping mishap at home caused several fractures.

Edward Furlong's pants didn't fit at first because the waist and inseam sizes were accidentally switched. The pants were too long, and too tight at the waist. However, they fit Paul Cram perfectly.

The original script followed Steve Railsback's character as he killed the teens, with strange and elaborate traps he set in the tunnel, to avenge his son's death.

At least he doesn't have to watch the rest of the film. 

The Curse Of El Charro (2005)

In California, Maria (Andrew Mia) has awful nightmares with visions of her sister that committed suicide one year ago. Her roommate Chris (Heidi Androl) invites Maria to travel with her and her friends Tanya (Kathryn Taylor) and Rose (KellyDawn Malloy) on vacation to her uncle's house in Saguaro, Arizona, to relax. When the group arrives at the house, they immediately go to a night-club to have fun and chase some local guys for sex; however, the evil El Charro (Andrew Bryniarski) is seeking Maria.....killing her friends with his machete.

The Curse of El Charro is a 2005 horror film starring Danny Trejo.  This film is a mess.  We have 4 unlikable characters played by 4 horrible actresses in a movie that moves about as fast a one legged jack rabbit. It has pointless and goofy religious "symbolism," and awful lighting and cinematography.  What does all this add up to???  A fucking mess. And speaking of religion....I will be praying for the financial ruin of whoever made this film to make sure they never make another.

The film begins with the 4 bimbos going on a trip. They have nothing in common except that each has a vagina.  On the way, while smoking some pot, they are pulled over by a creepy sheriff.  But never fear, the driver gets them out of trouble by blowing the sheriff in his car.  The sheriff then takes them to a bar filled with assorted weirdos, including a wheel chair bound death metal rocker.  They then leave.  Porn star Tabitha Stevens shows up for a lame lesbian shower scene.  And then El Charro goes nuts and starts killing.  I'm just sorry he didn't kill the director and producer of the film as well.

True evil can never die

I cannot find one good thing about this movie, and I did try. The acting is terrible. (like a group of college students were pulled out of class, handed the script, and told to do their best)  And believe it or not...Danny Trejo isn't even on screen in this film.  He's the voice of El Charro. What?  I can't blame him though...I wouldn't want to be seen in this fucking film either.

This film will drive you to an insane asylum.

Riding The Bullet (2004)

A young man hitchhiking back home to visit his mother is picked up by a mysterious stranger. As the ride goes on, the young man uncovers a terrible secret about the stranger, and is given a choice by the stranger. A choice that can mean life or death.

Riding the Bullet is a 2004 horror film, directed by Mick Garris. It is an adaptation of a Stephen King novella of the same name.  This film is not the greatest ride.

The story is set back in 1969. Alan (Jonathan Jackson) is a college student who learns that his mother (Barbara Hershey) has been hospitalized after a stroke. He must hitchhike across the state over the course of one night to be with her. Along the way he confronts his past, his future, his demons and fears - and a terrifying personification of death. David Arquette does a fine job of playing a weirdo. That's kinda like type casting.

The movie is not, for the most part, a horror movie, but it does manage to generate suspense.  The last half hour feels way too much like an episode of the Twilight Zone.  Mick Garris was the director and he's directed in television for so long that this big screen effort feels like a TV movie.  With this film  the parts are better than the whole.

Nice to meet you, Hector. I'm George. George Staub

The acting and effects were convincing enough for what it is, but overall it was too uneven to really deliver either a decent horror or a good coming to terms movie.  If you're a Stephen King fan you should probably check it out....otherwise it's nothing too special.

Trivia:
Based on a story of the same name by Stephen King that was written exclusively for the internet.

The old red car with the white top is supposed to be a 1958 Plymouth Fury - the same make and model as Christine. 

In the short story, George Staub's car was a Ford Mustang. The filmmakers decided to go with a red and white Plymouth as a nod to Stephen King's Christine. However Christine was a 1958 Plymouth Fury and George's car was a 1960 Plymouth Fury.

When Alan asks his mother how his father died, she says he was hit by a car while walking along side the road (while on his way to get gas for his car). On June 19, 1999, Stephen King was struck (and almost killed) while walking along Route 5, in Lovell, Maine. 

Shit, one more life or death seems pretty insignificant in the greater planetary sheme of things.

Cherry Falls (2000)

In the small town of Cherry Falls a masked murderer is killing off the virgins of the local high school.

Cherry Falls is a 2000 slasher film written by Ken Selden and directed by Geoffrey Wright. The film stars Brittany Murphy, Jay Mohr, and Michael Biehn.  Here's the storyline:  A psychotic serial slasher starts a bloodthirsty murder rampage at Cherry Falls high school that only kills the local high school virgins. This leads to the local teenage population organizing a sex party in order to lose their virginity and thus no longer be targets...

Believe or not....this is not a horrible film. Following the release of Scream, a revival started with a wave of copy cat slasher films. This may be one of the least known of those but it's one of the better films to come from it.  Written by Ken Selden, the story mixes dark comedy with the horror genre pretty much in the vein of Scream, using a clever twist to the genre cliché of the virginal survivors. The mystery of the killer's identity is very well handled and the story unfolds as Jody's investigation takes her to discover the town's past. Surprisingly, the movie never gets boring or tedious, and it serves its purpose as a thrilling mystery/horror film.  The sad part is it ended up being a TV movie.

See what happens when you keep that virginity ladies.

The main cast is very good, particularly Jay Mohr as a concerned teacher who is truly worried about his students. Brittany Murphy is very good in the lead role and is quite believable as a common teen girl. The rest of the cast do a very good job but nothing really outstanding outside the leads.

Revel in the film's humor and artistry. This was never intended to be a cult horror film. It is a fun movie, and should be judged according to entertainment value. It's a film to easily amuse when you don't have the energy or enthusiasm for life's drudgery.

Cherry Falls is a film that really got the shaft on its releasing, as it's far superior to a number of the theatrically released slasher-by-the-numbers flicks that where out around the time. Horror fans, before you bother with the likes of Urban Legend (1998), the lousy Valentine (2001) or any sequel, give this one a turn! You just might find it to be one of the best!

Britany Murphy

 Trivia:

The films German title is 'Sex oder stirb!' meaning 'Sex or Die!' The bizarre title for the Mexico release was 'Corre... no grites' which translates to 'Run...Don't Scream'. 

Never received a cinema release in the US.

The town meeting scene was filmed in the hallways and gymnasium of Thomas Jefferson High School in Richmond, VA.

Stephen Lang was slated for the lead role as the Sheriff but scheduling conflicts prevented him from playing in the film. He later admitted that the only reason he wanted to do the part was to work with Brittany Murphy again.

This movie is one of the few movies out there where the credits run backwards (top to bottom; not the normal bottom to top).

A group of virgins regretting their choices

Michael Biehn initially wasn't interested in the movie because, after reading 15 pages of the script, he thought it was just another slasher movie. His agent convinced him to keep reading. Biehn liked the satirical approach to the genre and decided to do the movie.

Geoffrey Wright's only non-Australian film. 

Movie producers at Millennium Studios secured permission from Richmond Public Schools to film interior and exterior scenes at Thomas Jefferson High School during Easter Break and the week following. Thomas Jefferson High School shared the building and grounds at the time with the Governor's School for Government and International Studies (GSGIS), a regional school for gifted students. RPS failed to mention this, and the fact that the two schools shared different schedules, to movie producers. RPS also failed to mention that a movie would be filmed on the site to GSGIS administration. As a result, Cherry Falls started filming at the end of the school day, only to be interrupted an hour later when the GSGIS students were released from class. To secure the set, doors had been locked and hallways had been blocked, preventing students from exiting. The confusion was eventually cleared, and the producers provided GSGIS administration with a synopsis of the plot, and details about the time-line, scheduling, and deal with RPS. School administration then included the synopsis in a letter to concerned parents. The synopsis failed to mention the satirical slant of the storytelling, and instead provided the plot as a serious storyline. Parents then complained that RPS allowed porn movies to be filmed on school property.

First Hollywood acting credit for Zachary Knighton.

Tsunami 2022 (2009)

18 years on from the devastating impact of 2004's tsunami, the world still fights to come to terms with this devastating environmental disaster. Little does humanity know that it is about to face the ultimate peril; a monumental death wave annihilating everything in its wake. With the threat of another catastrophic tsunami, Prime Minister Tribhop sets up a national disaster alarm centre. His political future and the lives of his people depend upon the decisions he makes. But no one predicts the enormity of what is about to rise from the Thai Gulf. And no one can out run it this time. The Death Wave is coming.

Thailand jumped into the disaster movie world with this offering. What we have here is confused acting, scream inducing flashbacks, tidal waves, big statues and a race against time to save the CGI dolphin! The premise here is that humans have stressed the Earth into wreaking havoc by unleashing a tidal wave on Thailand. It was written, directed and executive produced by Toranong Srichua.  It stars Pisan Srimankong, Sirinda Jensen, Panudej Wattanasuchat, Suchao Pongwilai.

Toranong Srichua uses his film as a cudgel to beat the topic of climate change senseless. The film had a 4 million dollar budget and it shows.  The effects were pretty poor.  It also jumps all over the place.  We have no time to get to know or care about any of the characters.  It's hard to take the movie seriously when the characters are so woodenly and melodramatically portrayed, especially the corrupt politician who harbors a secret and his son the hedonist, who swims with bikini-clad babes, takes drugs and kills sea gypsy fishermen.

It also has one of the most ridiculous scenes in the history of films.  As the Prime Minister struggles in the water, the giant Buddha statue breaks loose and rises above the waves.  The hand comes up under our hero and raises him above the water to safety.  Buddha takes care of his followers.  Don't go out of your way to see this film.

Evil Eyes (2004)

A screenwriter is plagued by nightmares as he writes a script about a family that was slaughtered years before. Soon, the grisly murders he's writing about starts to actually happen. 

Evil Eyes is a  horror film produced by The Asylum, directed by Mark Atkins, and starring Adam Baldwin.  The film was a direct to DVD release.  The film focuses on Jeff Stenn (Adam Baldwin), a writer who is having a bit of a money issue.  To make some cash he accepts a job to write a screenplay about a real-life homicide that happened 35 years earlier.  A lunatic director (Udo Kier) who believed that his creativity had unleashed dark forces, killed his pregnant wife and in-laws for no apparent reason before committing suicide.

As Jeff writes his screenplay, all the murders that he writes about start to occur just as her wrote them. 

This film isn't horrible.  It's a a step above the usual shot-on-video fare.  The movie was very short and heavily padded out. (much like this review will be)  It has a decent premise but then it sinks under an avalanche of bad writing and directing.  Udo Kier is a creepy presence and Adam Baldwin was somewhat likable.  Visually, it's a mixed bag. Some scenes are atmospheric, using light and shadow effectively. Others aren't.

 Mark Sheppard is here in this film.  Who is Mark Sheppard?  Why that's Crowley from the hit TV show Supernatural. Kind of strange to see "The King Of Hell" get killed in a baseball game playing with grown men in a sandlot.  Why are these 35 year old men playing pick up baseball with their wives sitting in the stands cheering them on?   

The film has some decent qualities. Good enough that if you happen to catch it on TV it's worth a look.  But it's not one I would recommend to rush out and find.    

The film also included some pretty funny things in the closer credits.  Such as:

 "No animals were hurt during the production of this screenplay. Even the undead ones."

"The events, characters and films depicted in this photoplay are fictitious. Really. Any similarity to actually persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental, and very weird. We suggest moving."

  

Halloween Resurrection (2002)

When a group of teens win a contest to spend a night in Michael Myers' childhood home to be broadcast live on the internet, they believe they are in for a little fun and some free publicity. But, things go frightfully wrong and the game turns into a struggle to make it out of the house alive. 


Halloween Resurrection is the 8th film in the "Halloween" franchise and it blows.  I hate this film. It makes all the previous films in the series look like Citizen Kane.  I don't know which reviewer on the poster says, "One hell of a fun movie", but he needs to fired from whichever company he reviews for.

Here's the amazing plot of the film.  An organisation called Dangertainment, headed by the entrepreneurial Freddie Harris (Busta Rhymes) sends 6 contest winners into the old Myers house with cameras strapped to their head and broadcasts it over the internet.  Mike shows up and starts butchering everybody while the world watches online.  

Yes I will play Laurie one more time and die so I never have to do it again.

Jamie Lee Curtis is stuck in a mental institution to open up the film and Mike shows up to finally put her out of her misery.  The chase to kill Laurie is actually the lone bright spot of the movie.  It's all down hill from there.  We have Busta Rhymes running around and here's a spoiler...I don't even get to see his annoying ass get killed.  He lives and is the hero. Rock Rosenthal directed this nonsense.  He's the same guy that directed Halloween 2.  No wonder they handed the next movies to Rob Zombie to direct.  

Myers is stunned by the horrible acting he's watching. 

 I don't know what else to say.  I could write 10 more paragraphs about how awful this movie actually is but I'll just also mention that Tyra Banks is in it.  That should sum it up perfectly. I think I'll just pretend this movie was never made. 

 Trivia:
Was first named "Halloween: The Homecoming", but producers wanted a title that said Michael Myers is alive so in February 2002, the film was officially named "Halloween: Resurrection."  

Was originally set for a release date of September 21st 2001, but producers at Dimension Films wanted the film to be stronger so re-shoots took place from September to October 2001.  

Director Rick Rosenthal previously directed Halloween II - 21 years earlier.

The name Jen Danzig is a reference to Glenn Danzig, the former singer and leader of The Misfits, whom wrote and sung the songs Halloween and Halloween II after the original movie was released. The two songs have little to do with the movies since their lyrics do not even touch the main plot.  

Tyra Banks' characters death was cut. You can still see the aftermath in the movie.

A picture of Josh Hartnett, who played Laurie Strode's son John in Halloween H20: 20 Years Later, can be seen on the wall above Laurie's bed in the sanitarium.  

Please do it Mike.

 Michael Myers is not given credit for any of the murders that occur in Halloweens' 4, 5, or 6. A sanitarium resident even notes that Myers was not heard from for the twenty years between the events that occur in Halloween II and Halloween H20: 20 Years Later.
 
Jamie Lee Curtis agreed to do her part, only to make sure her character, Laurie Strode (or herself) wouldn't appear in another sequel.  

The name of the psychology professor at Haddenfield University is Dr. Mixter. This was also the name of the doctor in Halloween II that treated Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) and was killed by Michael Myers with a needle in the eye.

Several new endings were written during production and the cast was never sure how the film was actually going to end. Four different endings were filmed, and the director wanted the studio to ship a different ending to each theater, a technique used before during the theatrical release of Clue. However, the studio disagreed and the endings now appear on the DVD and the Internet.  

Originally, the executives of Miramax wanted to continue the franchise by creating a whole new story of which didn't have anything to do with Michael Myers after the last film, in a similar manner to Halloween III: Season of the Witch. However, poll results conducted throughout fan websites proved to the producers that fans wanted Michael Myers to return again.

This is the second Halloween film to make any sort of reference as to what exactly Michael Myers eats. In the original Halloween, when Sheriff Brackett and Dr. Loomis enter the Myers house, they see something on the floor, which turns out to be the corpse of a dog. Dr. Loomis simply says "He got hungry."  

Body count: 10 (Plus one character presumed dead, but it's unconfirmed. If you count the bodies from the flashbacks then the body count is 14.)

Laurie Strode is only in the film for the first 15 minutes and only says 11 lines of dialog. 

Yeah baby...we're going to get Oscar nominations for this film.

 

Body 19 (2007)

Chon is suffering from nightmares. He tries not to sleep because he's scared of a girl that he sees each night in his dreams. In the dreams, the girl screams for help before she is cruelly killed. Ae, Chon's sister is worried about the illusion that Chon sees in his dreams, so she introduces him to a psychiatrist. Chon tries to prove that what he sees is not just the illusion. Finally, Chon is right when some clues in his nightmares lead him to a morgue number 19. And now, the story of the dead body inside the morgue is gradually  

Body is a Thai horror-thriller film. It is produced by GTH, the same production company that made the hit Thai horror film, Shutter. Body is directed by Paween Purijitpanya and co-written by Chukiat Sakweerakul.

I was very impressed with the Thai film Shutter and consider it one of the better Asian horror movies that I've seen.  The same company has now brought us Body 19 and it's damn good.  Like the best movies in Asian horror, this film is at times difficult to understand. But that's also why I love them.  You need to watch the movie several times to catch things that you missed or that didn't stand out on the first viewing.   When you see it again, it becomes "Oh shit...this makes sense now."

 Body 19 has parallels to an actual murder case in Thailand, in which a physician was convicted and given the death penalty in the dismemberment of his estranged wife. It's a stunning film visually for the most part.  The one scene that truly stands out is from the museum where the butterflies come alive. But then in other places there is an obvious use of CGI which stands out a bit too much.  The camera tends to take different directions often showing us views that induce paranoia and voyeurism.  But this film doesn't rely on the effects.  It's the story and suspense that make it really stand out.  But isn't that the case with all good movies.  I really don't want to go into too many details of the film because it has a twist and the enjoyable part of these great Asian horror films is not knowing what's coming next. The mystery all leads back to a corpse that is behind door No 19 in the hospital morgue.

 The film stars Pae Arak Amornsupasiri as Chonlasit (Chon),  Pang Ornjira Lamwilai as Ae, Kritteera Inpornwijit as Usa, Patharawarin Timkul as Dararai.  The acting is fair for the most part.  However, I felt Pae did a great job as Chon. His slow realization that he may be crazy was excellent.

I'm still here....FIND ME

It’s a long film….running to 1hour and 58 minutes which could drag for some viewers.  The film does have a slow pace at times.  Small trims could have been made here or there, but not without making the story seemed rushed.  The long running time allows us to journey into the slow descent of madness that Dae sinks into. Asian horror fans will dig this movie....others with small attention spans will probably not. I loved it and my opinion is usually correct.

Trivia
The original title was 'Body number 19', for the international English title, 'number 19' was dropped. This takes much of the meaning out of the title, since the meaning of the body in drawer #19 was the whole climax of the film.

Was in its release year the biggest hit in theaters in Thailand.

About halfway through, we see a woman in a zoologic museum, where many of the animals suddenly show little sings of life (an eye blinking, a tongue slipping from a beak, etc), and gradually the size of the animals increase, from a little snake to a full grown elephant. After that, suddenly a huge dinosaur skeleton is shown. In an Q&A during the International Film Festival Rotterdam, the director of the movie said this was a homage to Steven Spielberg (whom the director is a big fan of), who can, according to the director, make dead animals live again using his imagination.

Body 19

The Innkeepers (2011)

The Innkeepers is a 2011 film written, directed and edited by Ti West, starring Sara Paxton, Pat Healy and Kelly McGillis.  The story takes place at The Yankee Peddler Inn, a once grand hotel than is about to go out of business.  Claire and Luke are the only two employees working on the final weekend.  Both are ghost hunting enthusiasts and with only a few guests staying there, they do a little investigating into the legend of Madeline O'Malley.  The legend goes that Madeline's husband ran out on their honeymoon and she hung herself.

I had heard rumblings that the movie was pretty good.  It should have been an earthquake I heard.  This movie is very good. If you're looking for gore, it's not here.  If you're looking for a slow burn with lots of tension, it's here.  For the first 40 minutes not a lot happens.  You get a little comedy and learn about our Innkeepers.  Then things start to pick up.

She obviously had a rough day.

 West does a good job with lingering shots and when the scare arrives it packs a punch.  He does an excellent job building the characters early on and then adding a creepy atmosphere that delivers in the end. That's the best part of what he gives us in this film.  He takes his sweet time, building the mood instead of trying to scare us every minute. The audience gets invested in the characters.

Sara Paxton and Pat Healy are both excellent in their roles.  They have a natural chemistry and play off of each other very well.  They show the mundane nature of running a collapsing business with the type of dialogue you may find in a Tarantino movie.  Ok...it's not quite on that level but you get the point.  The banter between the two seems natural and Paxton steals the movie with her charm.

DO NOT go down there.

This is a movie that you turn out all the lights and crank up the sound on.  Prepare to jump.