Chastity Bites (2013)

In the early 1600's, Countess Elizabeth Bathory slaughtered more than 600 young women, believing if she bathed in the blood of virgins that she would stay young and beautiful forever. Still alive today, she's found a perfect hunting ground for her 'botox' as an abstinence educator in conservative America, and the young ladies of San Griento High are poised to be her next victims. But will her unholy ritual finally be stopped by Leah Ratliff, a feminist blogger and ambitious reporter for the school paper? 

Chastity Bites is a 2013 comedy-horror film written by Lotti Pharriss Knowles and directed by John V. Knowles.

What we have here is a cute little comedy horror film teeming with hot chicks.  It is a clever story that is energetic, quick witted and funny. The humor is both straight forward cheese ball humor blended with the darker satirical cultural quips that aren't as "surface".  The story follows a writer named Leah that becomes suspicious of a newly profound abstinence educator that schemes an army of virgins to please her vicious desires to collect blood to contain her youth. Of course convincing the entire school would be harder than assassinating an immortal masked murderer, but this doesn't seem like a heavy situation as Leah decides to take matters into her own hands to save her companion in time before she too is slaughtered like other unfortunate victims in their prime.

Leah and Katherine.

The tone is incredibly inconsistent, sometimes feeling like dull rehash of “Mean Girls”. Sometimes you just laugh out loud and other times you groan as the joke falls flat. At times it's like watching a sitcom.  Did I mention the chicks were hot? However we get zero nudity. We have some hints at lesbianism as well sprinkled throughout the film.  

A little lesbian action maybe?

There are some pretty good performances.  Allison Scagliotti’s portrayal of Leah is actually likeable, and she’s pretty damn funny.  Louise Griffiths is hypnotic as the beautiful stranger Liz.  Francia Raisa also did great playing the innocent girl next door and supporting friend. 

The film has some on screen deaths but they were mostly anti-climatic throat cuts with some even taking place off camera. The special effects for these kills are decent but it doesn’t take much to pull those kind of kills off. Overall, Chastity Bites is a fun teenage dramedy that features some bloody deaths and a few good laughs. If you want something new and different to watch then I recommend this one!

Who says the virgin always lives 'til the end?

See No Evil (2006)

 

A group of delinquents are sent to clean the Blackwell Hotel. Little do they know reclusive psychopath Jacob Goodnight has holed away in the rotting hotel. When one of the teens is captured, those who remain -- a group that includes the cop who put a bullet in Goodnight's head four years ago -- band together to survive against the brutal killer.

See No Evil is a 2006 slasher film directed by Gregory Dark, written by Dan Madigan, produced by Joel Simon, and starring professional wrestler Kane (Glenn Jacobs). It is the first major film produced by WWE Films and was released by Lions Gate Entertainment.

What is this film about?  A ragtag group of juvenile delinquents assigned the task of cleaning up an abandoned hotel find out just how deadly community service can be when they are stalked by a monstrous, four-hundred-pound maniac with a grudge in director Gregory Dark's wrestling-infused survival horror flick. It was a mere four years ago that seven-foot menace Jacob Goodnight (WWE superstar Kane) was shot in the head and left for dead by a local police officer. But Jacob wasn't going down that easy. With a steel plate subsequently attached to his skull and ten razor-sharp fingernails ready to scrape grey matter from the skulls of his victims, Jacob retreated to the abandoned Blackwell Hotel, where he resided in the darkened, rotting hallways while planning his ultimate revenge. As fate would have it, Jacob wouldn't have to go far to satiate his raging bloodlust, though, and as the unsuspecting teens make their way through the crumbling corridors of the once-luxurious inn guided by the very same policeman who fired that misguided bullet years earlier, the notorious killer sharpens his nails, stalks his prey, and prepares for a little payback.

Eight Teens, One Weekend, One Serial Killer.

Ok let's be realistic.  Nobody walked into a movie made by the WWE and directed by a former porn director & expected to see Citizen Kane.  See what I did there. Kane. The name of the wrestler in the film.  I'm here all week folks.  Glenn Jacobs is cast perfectly as the hulking brute and the deaths are suitably over the top. He has about 4 lines in the entire film and he delivers them flawlessly.  Lines such as "NOOOOOO" and "I see it." 

But to be honest....It's bad but not so bad you can't watch it and enjoy it.  The art direction is generally good, if very, very derivative of other films like "Hostel" and the "Saw" series. This may be the dirtiest, filthiest set in film history. The actors had to catch some disease while filming. And speaking of the actors, their acting was decent.  Granted they didn't have any serious emoting to do but they did the best they could with what they had.  

This Summer, someone is raising Kane.

While the death scenes are gory, they aren't necessary scary. There's really no suspense just some gory death scenes. Because of this, the movie doesn't hold much of a repeat value. There's no doubt in my mind that Kane can be a great fixture in the horror genre. He has the look and presence for it; he just needs better material to work with. I'm actually really looking forward to the sequel directed by the Soska sisters. They made the awesome "American Mary" and may be just what the doctor ordered to make Goodnight a franchise killer. 

I went in expecting nothing, and what I got was a somewhat entertaining nothing.  I loved the death scene where the girl gets attacked by the stray dogs and Kane's death itself is quite awesome.  It's a typical slasher movie that is fun to watch and if you like mindless gory horror then the film will please you. Among the end credits, after the cast and stunt list, there's a scene where a dog urinates in Jacob's empty eye socket. Pretty funny.

You Don't Know Evil: Unless You See It.

Trivia:

In the room with all the money pasted to the walls, every single bill has had the eyes cut out. 

Glenn Jacobs (Kane) has stated that the best thing about making this movie (due to the hectic amount of traveling as a professional wrestler) was the opportunity it gave him to sleep in the same bed for two months. 

Jacob Goodnight's name is never mentioned in the film. It was originally included in a monologue by Steven Vidler, but the scene ran too long and it was absentmindedly cut out.

It was mentioned in some interviews that Kane's co-stars were a little uneasy around the 7' man. Fangoria magazine mentions the director having to ask Kane to remain seated during cast introductions, since one of the women, who only came up to his sternum, wouldn't come near him.  

The tagline "This summer, evil gets Raw" refers to the WWE wrestling show Glenn Jacobs (Kane) appears on, _"WWE Monday Night RAW" (2005)_. 

Zoe's sister's name appears on the cell phone as Kiley Warner.  

This Summer, Evil Gets Raw.

Dr. Jekyll & Sister Hyde (1971)

In Victorian London, Dr. Henry Jekyll attempts to create an elixir of life using female hormones stolen from fresh corpses. He reasons that these hormones will wipe out all common diseases and extend his life since women live much longer than men. However, once Dr. Jekyll drinks the serum himself, he transforms into a gorgeous but evil woman. He soon needs female hormones for his serum to maintain, so a number of London women meet bloody deaths. 

Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde is a 1971 British film directed by Roy Ward Baker based on the novella Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. The film was made by British studio Hammer Film Productions.  

In a clever, gender-bending twist on the classic Robert Louis Stevenson tale, the research done by Dr. Henry Jekyll (Ralph Bates) in the field of artificially-induced human longevity involves experimentation with female hormones. When he partakes of his own formula and the inevitable Jekyll-into-Hyde transformation takes place, he changes into a ravishing female version of himself (famed "B"-movie siren Martine Beswick). Claiming to be Jekyll's sister, Ms. Hyde is lovely but lethal: she uses her alluring charms to seduce men then kills them and absconds with their bodies for use in further experiments. A much more interesting twist comes when Jekyll finds himself falling in love with the girl next door (Susan Brodrick), while simultaneously lusting after the girl's brother (Lewis Fiander) as Hyde.  

The sexual transformation of a man into a woman will actually take place before your very eyes!

 The tale of Dr. Jekyll has been told so many times before in film but this one is certainly unique.  Everybody pretty much knows this story.  For some bizarre reason it all works rather well, it never takes itself too seriously but at the same time has enough self respect & is straight faced to just about make all the silliness credible. It moves along at a nice pace since Jekyll narrates the film it cuts out the need for lengthy exposition scenes & I liked the idea of Jekyll & Hyde cheating on each other with the brother & sister upstairs! 

PARENTS: Be sure your children are sufficiently mature to witness the intimate details of this frank and revealing film.

The violence is the film may have been shocking in 1971 but it won't make today's horror fans flinch. There is a fair amount of blood splattering & while not particularly graphic the murders are brutal as Jekyll viciously stabs his victims & then gets his wooden box of surgical knives, scalpels & instruments out ready to do his grisly work.  We also get a battle of two personalities... male vs. female, repression vs. liberation, complete with undertones of homosexuality, transvestism, and the blurring of ones identity and gender. The casting of Ralph Bates and Martine Beswick was a master-stroke as they look remarkably like each other, giving the transformation added credibility.

I liked it, it's something a bit different & is an absolute must for Hammer fans & anyone interested in the horror genre as a whole.  But I just love Hammer films and may be a bit bias. 

I walked the streets, brooding on the bitter irony that all I wanted to do for humanity, for life, would be cheated by death... unless I could cheat death.

Trivia:

Husband and wife Ralph Bates and Virginia Wetherell first met as they prepared to shoot the scene in which Bates as Dr. Jekyll kills the prostitute played by Wetherell. 

Caroline Munro was offered the part of Sister Hyde but refused because it required some nudity.  

The BBFC requested cuts to remove the inter-cutting of a murder and a rabbit gutting, and to edit a bedroom murder and the stabbing of Professor Robertson. The bedroom murder was shortened though Hammer re-edited the stabbing of the doctor to comprise flash shots of earlier killings. Despite initial BBFC objections the film was then passed, and all later releases feature this same edited print. 

This is the second of three Hammer adaptations of Robert Louis Stevenson's novella "Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde". The other two are The Ugly Duckling (1959) and The Two Faces of Dr. Jekyll (1960). 

Oh no....I'm turning into a bitch.

Hit The Ice (1943)

Two newspaper photographers get mixed up with gangsters at a ski resort.

Hit the Ice is a 1943 film starring the comedy team of Abbott and Costello and directed by Charles Lamont, who took over after the original director, Erle C. Kenton, was fired. 

Bud and Lou are cast as would-be photojournalists Flash and Tubby, who inadvertently snap a picture of two bank robbers leaving the scene of the crime. Accused of knocking over the bank themselves, our heroes find it expedient to hide out at a Sun Valley ski resort. Here they tie up with Silky Fellowsby (Sheldon Leonard), the mastermind of the bank heist, who is led to believe that Flash and Tubby are a couple of Detroit "hit men". In the course of events, Tubby falls in love with Silky's girl Marcia Manning (Ginny Simms), romancing her by pretending (with Flash's dubious assistance) to be an accomplished concert pianist. The final confrontation with the crooks leads to an elaborate chase on skis, with all manner of hilarious (and wildly impossible) sight gags. The barely necessary romantic subplot involves doctor Bill Elliot (Patric Knowles) and nurse Peggy Osborne (played by Elyse Knox, the mother of actor Mark Harmon). Best bits: the classic "packing-unpacking routine, a zany skating sequence, and the old "I'll bet I can stand next to you and you can't touch me" gag.  Hit the Ice was Lou Costello's last film before rheumatic fever kept him off screen for a full year.

Oatmeal, oatmeal! Cornmeal!... Mush!

'Hit The Ice' isn't as well-known as the earlier 'Buck Privates' or the later classic, 'Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein,' it shows the duo still at a peak of humor and popularity, operating like a well-oiled machine, turning out hit comedy after hit comedy. The one problem with the film is all the damn singing.  The big band singer Ginny Simms has way too much screen time, singing five songs which is all the more unforgivable as none of them are memorable and a couple are stupid beyond belief. The big finale is a super gay song with the band and singer cruising in a sled. 

Left foot, right foot, left foot, everybody's doing it.

Overall this is an OK piece of comedy that fans will like as well as kids. There are a couple of funny routines and, although it has too much of it, the pratfall-style comedy is OK too. The ice skating scene is a Lou Costello highlight, as is the ski scene. This film also features the best version of "Pack/Unpack". Look also for a small bit by Mantan Moreland. He's best known for the Charlie Chan movies but he's a funny dude. 

Costello might get some Poo Poo La La

Trivia:

Lou Costello always suspected that Universal wasn't giving him and Bud Abbott the agreed-upon share of the profits the studio made from their films (a suspicion later proven, as a result of legal action they took against Universal, to be true). Therefore, he developed a habit of picking out furniture he liked from the sets of their films and taking it home, considering it payback for what he believed to be Universal's cheating. One day director Charles Lamont showed up on the set to shoot a scene at the ice skating rink only to discover that all the wrought-iron patio furniture that had been there the previous day had disappeared. Costello denied any knowledge of it, and Lamont said he would shoot no more scenes until the furniture was returned. A compromise was finally reached whereby Costello would bring back the furniture, the scene would be shot, and then he would be allowed to bring all of the furniture back home. 

After completing production, Lou Costello was stricken with rheumatic fever. This would be the last new Abbott and Costello film for more than a year. 

This film was broadcast on cable network AMC on the morning of Sept. 11, 2001 about 2 hours before the terrorist attacks.

The film was started by director Erle C. Kenton. However, he and Lou Costello clashed on several occasions, and Kenton was fired and replaced by Charles Lamont. 

Horror Of Frankenstein (1970)

Victor Frankenstein (Ralph Bates) is the son of the Count who plans his father's demise. He inherits the castle and the comely housekeeper (Kate O'Mara) who doubles as his mistress. Soon Victor is busy murdering people to build his monster (David Prowse). His victims include his neighbor, his housekeeper, a gravedigger, a professor and his best friend. He patches the various body parts together to make his horrible creation.

The Horror of Frankenstein is a 1970 British horror film by Hammer Film Productions that is both a semi-parody and remake of the 1957 film The Curse of Frankenstein. It was produced and directed by Jimmy Sangster, starring Ralph Bates, Kate O'Mara, Veronica Carlson and David Prowse as the monster. The original music score was composed by Malcolm Williamson.

Hammer produced 7 Frankenstein films and this was the only one that didn't star Peter Cushing. And guess what...it's not really all that bad.  The first two thirds are pretty damn good but then it kind of fades away.   It's basically a remake of the first Hammer Frankenstein movie but with added humor.

Let's build a monster.

It's tough to top Peter Cushing as Victor Frankenstein but Ralph Bates is actually more loathsome than Cushing ever was.  He plays a younger, mean-spirited, murderous, and cold-blooded individual. Bate's performance is practically perfect, convincingly portraying the utter contempt that his character feels for all mankind—even his closest friends and admirers. It also includes a little eye candy with Kate O'Mara as Alys, the slutty housemaid who sees to the Baron's every needs (if you know what I mean), and Veronica Carlson as Elizabeth Heiss, the prettiest girl in the village and Victor's secret admirer.  They will certainly appeal to the male audience with tits hanging out of their blouses in just about every scene they're in.  

You seemed to have gained weight in the right places.

One thing that I really didn't like was the bodybuilding monster. He looks like fucking Hercules with a few scars.  The monster is played by David Prowse, who would later become world-famous as Darth Vader.  He reappeared in the next Hammer Frankenstein film "Frankenstein & The Monster From Hell." The makeup was way better in that film, one of Hammer's best, and so was Prowse's performance.  He sort of looks like Triple H with a shaved head.

Release me so I can go to the gym.

There is is very little horror in 'The Horror of Frankenstein' beyond the horror of what humans are capable enough if they are driven in the way Frankenstein appears to be here.  In summary, we do somewhat miss the great Peter Cushing in this Hammer entry; however, it's a fine performance by Ralph Bates and his supporting cast and I think, overall, is pretty entertaining. 

Put Steph down Triple H monster

Trivia:

This Frankenstein film stands alone and is not a part of Hammer's six film Frankenstein series, starring Peter Cushing as Dr. Frankenstein. It was, essentially a remake of The Curse of Frankenstein (1957), and it is rumored that a younger actor, Ralph Bates, was cast to appeal to a younger audience. 

Writer / producer / director Jimmy Sangster was brought in to look at and revise if necessary the original screenplay by Jeremy Burnham, and realized that it was essentially The Curse of Frankenstein (1957) all over again, which had been done just a dozen years earlier. Not wanting to do the same movie again, it was his decision to inject all the humor and sex into the script. He didn't commit fully to the project until Hammer Studios agreed to give him the opportunity to direct. 

The first Hammer production to be entirely financed with British funds. 

Last film of Joan Rice. 

Writer Jeremy Burnham assumes he got away with giving the story a comic edge because none of the producers actually read the script. 

David Prowse previously played Frankenstein's Monster in Casino Royale (1967).  

This is the only Hammer "Frankenstein" film in which Peter Cushing does not appear. 

The Triple H monster is about to lay the Smackdown.

Hands Of The Ripper (1971)

The infant daughter of Jack the Ripper is witness to the brutal murder of her mother by her father. Fifteen years later she is a troubled young woman who is seemingly possessed by the spirit of her father. While in a trance she continues his murderous killing spree but has no recollection of the events afterwards. A sympathetic psychiatrist takes her in and is convinced he can cure her condition. Soon, however, he regrets his decision. 

Hands of the Ripper is a 1971 British horror film directed by Peter Sasdy for Hammer Film Productions.  I watched Grave Of The Vampire before viewing this film. This film is like The Godfather compared to the clunker. 

Hammer's trademark gothic style permeates this suspenseful thriller, considered one of the acclaimed British studio's superior efforts, thanks largely to the directorial skills of Peter Sasdy. This marked his last feature-length collaboration with the studio until 1980, when he returned to direct installments of the Hammer House of Horror television series. In the film's prologue, young Anna, the infant daughter of the notorious Jack the Ripper, witnesses her mother's brutal murder at her father's hands. Years later, the lovely teenage Anna (Angharad Rees) is plagued by traumatic memories of the incident and repressed impulses in which love and death are inextricably linked. These impulses finally turn homicidal when her emotions are stirred, spelling doom for anyone who arouses her. Anna's case is handled by the repressed psychoanalyst, Dr. Pritchard (Eric Porter), whose growing physical attraction to the girl could result in far worse than a mere breach of professional ethics. Sasdy weaves the psychological elements through the story with finesse, paralleling the sexual tension between the doctor and his patient with the mounting horror of the inevitable outcome. 

Ouch

‘Hands of the Ripper' is a rather underrated and enjoyable Hammer film.  The film is slow, methodical and story based which may not appeal to those who like lots of `action' in their flicks, but anyone who likes classic horror wonderfully entwined with a near-gripping thriller should find something enjoyable here. This is also one of more intelligent Hammer films, as the screenplay efficiently blends together historical horror with accurate psychological theories. The climax, set in the St.Paul Cathedral's gallery of whispers, is breathtaking and almost hauntingly poetic. 

The film is immensely creepy and scary, with a suspense level that is higher than in most Hammer flicks, and the murders are brutal and very bloody. The atmosphere is eerie and tense and, as usual for Hammer, the film is shot in great Gothic locations. The performances are great. Eric Porter delivers an excellent performance as Dr. Pritchard, and Angharad Rees deserves special praise for her outstanding performance in the role of Anna. All said, this is a shamefully underrated film. Creepy, stylish, excellently acted and stunningly suspenseful from the beginning to the end "Hands Of The Ripper" is a great gem from Hammer that no lover of Horror can afford to miss! 

The Doctor and Anna

Trivia: 

For the climactic scenes in St Paul's Cathedral - permission was requested and turned down to film on location. A replica was built instead. 

Lynda Baron's character is named after one of Jack the Ripper's real-life victims, Elizabeth Stride, whose nickname was "Long Liz". 

American censors removed 16 seconds from the murder sequences.

The film was released as a double bill with Twins of Evil (1971)

After Room to Let (1950), this is the second Hammer film to use Jack the Ripper as its subject matter. 

In a conversation between Dr Pritchard and Dysart, they mention "Our Queen Victoria". The film is set 15 years after the Ripper murders, making it 1903, two years after Queen Victoria died.  

Grave Of The Vampire (1972)

Kroft, a legendary vampire, returns from sleep. Kroft attacks a couple in a graveyard, raping the woman. The child born feeds only on blood from his mother's breast.

Grave of the Vampire is a 1972 American horror film directed by John Hayes. The film stars Michael Pataki as a brutish vampire apparently lacking in Dracula's powers of seduction, since he finds it necessary to brutally rape a young woman (Kitty Vallacher) in order to sire a child. The product of this unholy mating is a half-human, half-vampire baby boy, bottle-fed on the blood of his now-insane mother (a truly sickening sight) until her eventual death from anemia. Later as a young man, the son (William Smith) is able to spend short periods in daylight, and his bloodlust is considerably lesser than that of his father. Tormented nevertheless by his evil condition, he curses his bloodline and defies his vampire heritage, tracking his father down to the university where he teaches occult sciences. 

Yes. That is indeed a salamander on his head.

I must say it does have an interesting premise. The vampire rapes a woman and she has ends up popping out a kid. That's where the interesting part ends and the audience is raped by shitty acting. A lot of folks seem to like this movie and I have to wonder what the fuck they had been smoking before watching it. 

The film is very boring to watch.  It doesn't even have that so bad it's good quality.  SO much silly stuff in the movie. Like in the beginning when a body is found and a police lieutenant asks if the sun was completely up, you know there are going to be problems. The police do not automatically assume vampires. But, this goofball did. The worst scene in the movie is the classroom one where people sit around and talk for about fifteen minutes.  Oh yeah and the vampire is now a professor.  No blood or nudity, not a drip or a tit.

Father and son--related by BLOOD! ANYONE'S BLOOD!

The most amazing thing about this film is that David Chase wrote the screenplay.  Yes that David Chase.  The same one that created and wrote "The Sopanos" TV series. He must have written this in the 1st grade. 

If you're a huge vampire fan maybe you might dig this.  Otherwise leave this shit on the shelf. 

I'll rip the door off a car to get some pussy.

Trivia:

Top-billed William Smith only appears after 35 minutes of screening. 

This film was filmed in 11 days with a budget of $50,000.

Caleb Croft also appears in Kim Newman's "Anno Dracula"-novels

Michael Pataki also narrated a theatrical trailer for this film.

Wow, Professor, you make a groovy medium! 

 

 James Eastman: [voiceover] My mother found it difficult to tell me that I wasn't like other children; I could never share a life with whole human beings. I slowly learned that the thing that raped my mother and fathered me was no living feeling man, but a malignant force of cancer that refused to be destroyed. It wasn't only her blood my mother gave to keep me alive, her youth and her own life was sucked up into the syringe that fed me. 

No tricks. No Goober Dust.

Gone In 60 Seconds (1974)

Insurance investigator Maindrian Pace and his team lead double-lives as unstoppable car thieves. When a South American drug lord pays Pace to steal 48 cars for him, all but one, a 1973 Ford Mustang, are in the bag. As Pace prepares to rip-off the fastback, codenamed "Eleanor", in Long Beach, he is unaware that his boss has tipped off the police after a business dispute. Detectives are waiting and pursue Pace through five cities as he desperately tries to get away. 

Gone in 60 Seconds is a 1974 American action film written, directed, produced by, and starring H.B. "Toby" Halicki.  This was truly an independent film. "Gone In 60 Seconds" was written, produced, directed and distributed by the same man, H.B. Halicki, who also stars and did most of the stunt driving! The 40 minute chase at the end of the movie is obviously cinematic history.  It's the longest car chase in film history and it's off the charts awesome.  It will be remembered by many viewers as the best car-chase film of all time.

To get to this chase though we have to sit through 40 minutes of slow paced car stealing. While watching I thought, "What's so great about this movie?" But once the chase starts shit gets real. 

You know something, Vicinski, I bet five more cars have been stolen in just the time I've been here.

 If you're looking for excellent acting, superb script and special effects....look somewhere fucking else. THIS is a car chase, and once you have seen it you will find yourself wondering why anyone ever considered the pathetic "Bullitt" worth a second thought.  It's that incredibly great. And don't kid yourself about that stinky and unnecessary big budget mainstream blockbuster remake starring Nicholas Cage. The original is still the real way-gone stirring deal -- and always shall remain so. 

I should have read my horoscope this morning.

Trivia:

 93 cars are crashed in this 97 minute movie. 

The scene where the Mustang tags a car on the highway and spins into a telephone pole was a real accident. Star/director H.B. Halicki was badly hurt and filming was stopped while he recovered. The scene was left in. 

Director/star H.B. Halicki compacted ten vertebrae performing the "big jump" in the Mustang at the end of the movie. Fortunately the injury was not very serious, although according to director of photography Jack Vacek, Halicki never walked the same again. 

With the exception of a few extras, the bulk of the by-standers/public in the movie are real people just going about their business who had no idea that a film was being made. This caused several incidents where people assumed a real police pursuit was in progress, with many trying to help the accident "victims". In the scene at the Carson Street off-ramp where the two cars collide after Maindrian drives against traffic, a pedestrian can be seen in the background shouting angrily at the passing police cars for not stopping to help the occupants.  

The scene in which a train derailment is observed in the film was not part of the original shooting script but it is in fact a real train that derailed and when the director heard about this he wanted to incorporate it into the film. 

When Pumpkin tells Maindrian that they have to give Eleanor back because the car is not insured, Maindrian reads the owner's address from a newspaper - 18511 Mariposa, Gardena. This was in fact director/star H.B. Halicki's own real home address at the time. 

1-Baker-11, 10-4. Switch to Open Channel 3. All units, stand-by, 1-Baker-11 is in pursuit. A '73 Ford Mustang, license in the 6-column - 614 Henry Sam Ocean, westbound Ocean Boulevard, against traffic.

The license plate of the Rolls-Royce outside the airport reads "HBH" - the initials of the film's star/director/writer, H.B. Halicki. 

The fire trucks seen on the Gerald Desmond Bridge during the main chase were real Long Beach FD units on their way to an emergency call. The "crash" staged for the film was blocking both lanes and they could not get past until the cars were cleared. Director H.B. Halicki asked the camera crew to film them in case there was somewhere to fit the shot into the movie. There was. 

Nearly every civilian vehicle seen in close proximity to the main chase (especially in downtown Long Beach) was owned by director H.B. Halicki. This resulted in several of them being seen multiple times throughout the 40-minute sequence. The second "Eleanor" (that Maindrian steals from the car wash) and the white Ford that he and Stanley spend much of their time in are visible parked in one street that Maindrian turns into before hitting the boat in Long Beach. The white Ford also shows up in many other shots. 

When Maindrian is first telling Atlee about the new contract, a message on the blackboard behind them is visible saying, "Sgt. Hawkins called about Vacek case" - a reference to director of photography Jack Vacek. 

Harold Smith's dog was actually owned by cinematographer Jack Vacek, and called Flash. All of the hats Maindrian wears in the film also belonged to Vacek, as did the black Pontiac Trans Am being cleaned in the scene where Atlee steals Lyle Waggoner's car. 

According to director of photography Jack Vacek, only 1-Baker-11 was supposed to crash in the final scene. The drivers of the other police cars decided to all wreck as well "for the hell of it". 

All of the police cars damaged in the film, as well as the garbage truck that overturns, were bought at city auction by director H.B. Halicki in 1972, for an average price of $200 each. They sat in an empty lot for over a year until production on the movie began in 1973. 

I'm going to name this car after your girlfriend, 'cause she's a wreck too.

 There was no official script for the movie, apart from several pages outlining main dialog sequences. Much of the action/dialog was improvised and made up by the cast and crew as they went along. This caused many problems for the editor, Warner E. Leighton, who never knew what footage was being dumped on him or where in the movie it belonged. In the DVD audio commentary, he described the script for the construction site portion of the main pursuit as a piece of cardboard with a circle on it. Director H.B. Halicki pointed at it and said, "That's the dust bowl. We went around it twice. There's your script." 

The featured car in this film, affectionately named "Eleanor," is a 1973 Ford Mustang Mach I.  

The workshop scenes at Chase Research were filmed at director H.B. Halicki's real-life workshop, and occasionally filming would stop for several days so he could repair cars to earn money and continue production. 

'J.C. Agajanian, Jr.', who plays a detective in the roadblock sequence at Torrance Mazda Agency, was almost killed when a stunt with "Eleanor" went wrong and the Mustang slammed into his unmarked police car, which he was standing behind. The scene was left in the film.  

Much of the crowd at the gas station where Harold Smith is pulled over after the night-time Torrance chase were part of a real biker gang, who verbally abused the police officers "arresting" the actor and demanding they leave him alone. Being an independent production, the film used real civilians who happened to be wherever they were filming. It was the police officers' bad luck that at the gas station there was a real biker gang filling up. 

In one scene at the construction area where the Mustang has been surrounded, a patrol car roars up a hill in pursuit and overturns. This was a real accident, and the officer inside was nearly crushed when the siren "can" on the roof caved the roof in. The scene was left in.  

Just a shot of me getting home from work.

To achieve the effect of cars sliding into each other when hit by the patrol car at Moran Cadillac, the filmmakers put oil under the tires of the first few cars to help them slide. When it came time to do the stunt, it worked too well and many of the agency's own Cadillacs that were for sale were badly damaged. Director H.B. Halicki had to purchase all of them. 

Parnelli Jones still owns his Big Oly Ford Bronco, and often brings it out to car shows.

The final "big jump" went 30 feet high and cleared 128 feet; Halicki suffered a compressed spine in the landing.  

According to people on the set, after the mishap when a driver missed a mark and caused "Eleanor" to hit a real light post at 85mph, the first thing that Halicki said when he regained consciousness was "Did we get coverage?" 

1-Baker-5, the second unmarked Mercury that joins the main pursuit early on, was supposed to roll when side-swiping the oncoming car as Maindrian drives onto the sidewalk. A ramp was installed against the side of the civilian vehicle but the Mercury's suspension gave out after hitting it, resulting in the car simply sliding along the road on two wheels. Director H.B. Halicki became frustrated at the failed stunt and left the scene at that, but would eventually master the "barrel roll" for his second film The Junkman (1982). 

The car Hallicki drives at the beginning, a 1973 Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham, belonged to a friend of Hallicki. After driving 100+ MPH, it had loose, hammering lifters, which indicates a serious problem with quality present before Hallicki borrowed it. 

1-Baker-11, are you still with the pursuit?

Funeral Home (1980)

A young woman arrives at her grandmother's house, which used to be a funeral home, to help her turn the place into a bed-and-breakfast inn. After they open, however, guests begin disappearing or turning up dead.

Funeral Home (also known as Cries in the Night) is a 1980 Canadian horror/thriller directed by William Fruet starring Lesleh Donaldson, Kay Hawtrey, Jack Van Evera, Alf Humphreys, and Harvey Atkin.

"Funeral Home" is a surprisingly entertaining and traditionally morbid early 80's horror movie.  I expected nothing when I plopped down to watch this.  Turns out that it wasn't all that shitty. It's more of thriller than a slasher movie.  The mystery about who the killer is does manage to get some good moments. The fact that there's at least four different possible killers is a great idea, making each red herring a real target is a great skill that comes across wonderfully. 

She was warned!

 There are a couple of negatives with the movie. The very slow pacing is a big issue, and really holds up the film.  Also the lack of kills is disappointing.  However we also have some positives. A creepy atmosphere. Spooky location. Performances are fine all around. A decent score and some sound effects that should give you the chills. The filmmakers at least attempt to make this film suspenseful. Pace really picks up in the second half.

If you've seen Psycho you know what's happening here. No doubt Hawtrey (Grandma) took lessons in hotel management from Norman Bates and his mother.  This film will not be for everyone. Current youngsters who have been brought up on the "Hostel's" and "Saw's" and think of those as stellar slasher flicks will probably not be able to sit through this because the of the slow plot. Though not a 10-star film and not very high on the "shock-meter," it was surprisingly good for a B-Movie. Not an unsung classic just a small tight little horror movie. 

Good riddance to bad rubbish

Trivia: 

Frontier Amusements released this in Canada in the fall of 1980 as CRIES IN THE NIGHT and then re-released the movie in September of 1982 as FUNERAL HOME. 

According to star Lesleh Donaldson this film is quite a popular cult classic in Mexico. 

In an interview with star Lesleh Donaldson she said that she always thought of this film as something of a cross between the Little Red Riding Hood fable and Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho (1960). 

The film's French title is 'Le Cri des Ténèbres', meaning 'The Cry of Darkness'.  

There is something wrong in that house. Something evil!

Deadtime Stories (1986)

A babysitting uncle tells his charges three horror stories--about a killer witch, Little Red Riding Hood and a werewolf, and a story about "Goldi Lox" and the three bears.

Deadtime Stories is a 1986 American film directed by Jeffrey Delman. The film is also known as Freaky Fairytales (in the United Kingdom), The Griebels from Deadtime Stories (in the Netherlands), and The Griebels (European DVD English title).

I had never even heard of this movie when I sat down to watch it.  It's an anthology film with 3 kooky stories. The guy telling the stories is a perverted uncle. All he's trying to do is get his nephew to fall asleep so he can watch the Miss Nude competition.  Can you fault the guy?  I never heard stories like these as a child....chicks are getting banged all over in this film.

The first story is "Peter And The Witches" and is about a young man (Scott Valentine) who is a slave to three witches.  They first get Peter to trick a dude into coming there for some hot orgy action and proceed to burn off his hand for a witches brew to help them find their lost sister. They then get him to trick a big breasted blonde back to the cave to bring the sister back to life. However the power of pussy beats the power of witchcraft and he betrays them. Not much to this story and I almost turned the movie off at this point.  

You go away! I got a meat cleaver here, and I know how to use it!

The next story is "Little Red Runninghood" has a high school girl in a red jogging outfit picking up medicine for her sick grandma at the drug store. She's given the wrong prescription, and the man the medicine belongs to has a very special reason for needing it before the full moon. If you guessed that he changes into a werewolf then you're a winner winner chicken dinner. Of course the horny uncle has little red running hood a virgin and losing her cherry in a shed. I got a couple of laughs during this one. 

Hi, my name is Goldi. Actually, it's Golda. I was born during the Six-Day War.

 The third story is "Goldi Lox And The Three Baers. The "Bear"-family is a trio of lunatics escaped from an asylum and Goldilocks herself is a supernaturally gifted serial killer that impales horny young men for fun. The two parties combine forces and go out for some pizza. This story is crazy and has some dark humor in it.  Of course Goldy bangs the super mentally challenged Baer. She finally has an orgasm and says "Sorry" to all the boys she killed that tried to have sex with her.  This is probably the best of the three and certainly the most original. 

Hi Little Brian....

The special effects are courtesy of Ed French and has surprisingly good performances from its no-name cast.  This film is pure 80's cheese but it has a few laughs and could be enjoyable on a boring night. A really boring night.  A must for bad movie fans. 

Uncle Mike: Once upon a time, there was a little girl named "Rachel." Actually, she wasn't all that little. She was a hot-looking high school senior with deep blue eyes, and fine, firm breasts and...
Little Brian: That's not the way Mommy tells it!
Uncle Mike: Shut up, that's the way I tell it.

Peter having trouble with a very pissed off witch.